From the cradle

A baby's first cry in a hospital's labour ward brings joy to many. So why is it that tears of grownups go unnoticed? I know beginning my blog with a rhetoric question will definitely put you in a quandary. You must be wondering why on earth did I compare a baby to an adult? The reason being as we grow older, we start losing sensitivity towards other people's emotions. We do not deem it necessary to respect the other person and accept the individual with his or her flaws. I say this because when we are children, grownups remark "Ah! he is a child now...ignore what he says or does". At the same time, when a grownup makes a mistake, it is by default his or her fault and not ignored. It is also our society's hypocrisy that we do not take blame for what we started or triggered off. This kind of "discrimination" (its a strong word, I know) makes the individual feel that he is lesser important and does not have much role to play in his family. Seeds of negativity are sown early by family members themselves. And once these seeds grow into a plant (which is now in the form of a disgruntled human being), the family members shrugs their shoulders, shake their heads and pretend to not know "how it all started" or how the individual "turned this way". Once they realize that the member is completely distanced from them, they pin the blame squarely on the individual, labeling him or her as a "rebel". Isn't it easy to start this blame game? Hardly consumes anyone's time, isn't it? After all, we are all part of this "jet age" where we are way too busy earning money and do not have time for such trifling matters.

The crux is that people want to shut their eyes, take the exit route when it comes to maintaining ties and bonds that are meant to last forever, and throw stones (read: blame and criticism) at others. No one wants to take pains in bridging the gaps.
Hence, I find that the only solution is to encourage young and old in the family to only use positive words. This in turn will help prevent a lot of ugly scenes and strengthen family ties. So, if we can start the day with positive remarks, we can save a lot of families from breaking down. All you need is a mature and open mind to accept human beings with their flaws and help them overcome them in a positive fashion. But the more you impose labels on your loved ones, you end up distancing yourself and creating a chasm.

Shrinking ties

People around me keep complaining that family ties are going for a toss. There is an increasing trend of joint family setups turning into nuclear units. After a whole lot of personal experiences, I can vouch for one thing that negative remarks and negative energies have only destroyed family ties. I have observed four generations of my own family since my childhood to present. There has been such an inter-generational void that as a child, I used to miss growing up with siblings. While my friends would talk endlessly about meeting their cousins during summer vacations, I would have no one to play with. In reality, I did have a lot of cousins and distant cousins whom I never got to meet. But I was given the impression that there was only our family. As time went on, during my rebellious teen years, I felt totally isolated. I missed talking to cousins, sharing stories and jokes with siblings. When I finally came to know why I was always away from those siblings, I hated my grandparents and ancestors for their "cradle-to-grave hatred". I wondered why no one in the family even made an attempt to reunite the scattered families. This is what our so-called respectable elders did - they managed to sow contention and negative feelings among their own children. They were extremely selfish and did not even for a second, realize what it will do to the future generations. They all reached heaven but left cracks in family ties. At least I hope my generation and the next few generations will refrain from making the same mistakes as their ancestors and put family ties above personal egos.